Got the new computer, it's a dream come true, I actually feel like I can do digital art... having to get used to windows is sure something, i'm hitting the alt key instead of the control key constantly.
i've been sick the past week, it felt like it could be covid but it wasn't, still freaky. I hate going to work because I feel like im going to get sick.
I've been reading The Dispossesed by Ursula K. LeGuin. It's really good and giving me all kinds of thoughs which I may compile after finishing it.
Currently eating: water
Been having a lot of feelings. It's been a weird time... I'm buying a big fancy computer with the unemployment money. But i've had to go back to work for two days a week. It's very boring and also very scary. The corona virus cases are not going down, and I think that we should return to lockdown. I'd rather not have to interact with any people. And my boss is always there radiating anxious energy. It would be nice if the government would step in to help small bisunesses. But i don't see it really happening. I feel bad for my bosses but... I aso have to think about my own safty. Under normal circumstances my job is not bad, for a job under capitalisim. But now all of the bad things are being amplified by the corona worries, and all of the annoying but important preventitive measures.
I've been under seige from an invasion of wasps. They keep coming into our apartment. I don't know how to make them stop. It's to the point where two or three are coming in every damn day. I have gotten pretty good at killing them, but I don't like doing it. I would rather they just not come in.
Currently eating: Watermelon with a spoon
Was able to do a good ammount of work on difficult parts of Tidal Lines pages yesterday, someday I will be able to draw desks with no problem. Yesterday I met up with some friends for a 6 ft apart picnic, we painted protest signs. Today I am tired and have a stomach pain. I would really like to go to the protest tomorrow, but I really don't think I can. I don't want to get sick and give it to my family. I want to keep working on my comic forever, but it's really hot and miserable.
Today's tea is: Ceylon Tiger River atempting to wake up enough to draw and do things.
got up relativly early after teqnically al-right sleep. made weed butter for the first time. I followed a recipie. i have a mixed track record with weeidables, but i thought it would be good if I made it myself, from family locally grown product. While it was cooking I got a tiny bit of comic work done.There really isn't so much left to do on this chunk of pages, soon I'll have to draw emile a lot hahahaha. MICE was confirmed to be a digital event this year. it's disapointing, but I understand. I'll just keep working on my comics as always, I guess I don't feel preasured to do another one-shot, but I still might. I made the butter into penuche fudge because I dont' have chocolate and I like it better anyways. THe weed taste kind of dominates. but it's not terrible I guesse.
Had a lot of trouble sleeping last night. Ended up not really sleeping until 7am. Got a little sleep but lots of strange semi-lucid dreams. Not quality sleep. I went driving with my mom after I had woken up. I drove more than I had befor, I'm still not great at it, but I'm getting better. I need to have that ability if I am going to progress in my life.
there is a protest in town tomorrow, I'd like to go but I'm not sure if I should. I am worried about catching the virus and spreading it to my family. But I really want to go.
todays tea is: Katalyst Jasmine Kombucha. One of my favorites. Katalyst kombucha is really good, but I don't know how widespread they are.
didn't do too much today, but I ordered a bunch of fun things from blick to reward myself for starting my healthcare application process and renewing my unemployment app. It has been stressing me out and it wasn't really that annoying, as it is usually. Maybe tomorrow I will make bread...
todays tea is: a little yerba mate and some peppermint. I put some chocolate in it too because heck. i will never have a normative sleep schedual again.
very tired today. feeling down and anxious about many things since yesterday. played golden sun for 10 hours yesterday to avoid thinking. it's tempting to do the same again today, but i might feel like drawing. don't want to call unemployment but i have to. Another stimulus check would be justifyed, but i don't think it will happen somehow. Tea shop job is opening but they didn't email me, i think I gave them the impression i don't want to work. I don't really, I'm worried about getting there and back. the bus is a danger zone. though working and making just to go tea and not having to interact with customers sounds pretty chill. I wonder how much bisuness they will actually get.
very worried about money. i also miss my coworkers. yesterday and today I felt very jelous of someone. I am craving validation of a certain type and i've made it impossible to get in this situation. I guess the lack of it making me feel as bad as I do is proof that i do need it and I'm not making it up. probably. it would be nice to have faith in myself.
yeasterday i made dumplisngs from scratch, but I forgot to put garlic and ginger in the filling like a moron. they also needed way more salt. I have to shape the rest for freezing today, so my lazyness of yesterday saved to flavor of my future food. I am horrible at shaping them though.
todays tea is: mix of tiger river and mate, i want caffien to not have a headach and to get rid of my static.